he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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