Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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