Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize