real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
