so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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