Whod you bang
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My vagina is officially offended.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
