Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
