I think i peed on brittanys purse
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
