So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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