her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
