The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
