I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
