I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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