I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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