Non-Jews are for practice
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
