im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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