she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
