I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
