halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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