It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize