Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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