My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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