i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
The feeling are messing with the penis
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Randomize
