I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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