u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
