so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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