Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
