had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
