Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
