let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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