don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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