My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
that's an acceptable place to lick
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
