im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
