thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
