that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
