yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
