Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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