My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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