I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
