OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Please, let me fuck your mom
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
This is my gift to your gina
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
