He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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