I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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