He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
