Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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