Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
