So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
