Fuck appropriateness.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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