Having a random hookup so left but love u
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
