Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
