My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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