its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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