Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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