You don't have asthma, your pregnant
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize