I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
