Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
