You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
