Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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